(MP) - There is an old saying that when your friend loses his job - we are in a recession; but when you lose your job, we’re in a depression. “I never had a job to begin with, so who gives a shit, right?” exclaims Jeanine Menthol, who is currently the focus of the next season of Bride-asaurus on ManicTV. “You only live once, ya know? You can’t take it with yous?” Menthol, the newly engaged mother of two, was asked how the economic downturn will effect her, “I swears, this is gonna be, like, the best summer ever! We’ll just go to the Xanadu!” 
No, not the Xanadu that is filled with muses, music, and magic. Not the Xanadu with electric light, smoke, and roller skates. Somewhere in the swamps of Jersey, a red, yellow, green, and aqua pleasure-dome is rising out of the weeds. This summer, Xanadu, the largest (4,500,000 square feet) and most expensive ($2 billion), mall ever built in the U.S, and third largest in the world, will open it’s doors for business. Once plagued by financial malfeasance by the Mills Corporation (the SEC formally investigated the Mills Corporation for executive misconduct and accounting errors), the troubled developer sold their stake in Xanadu to private investment firm Colony Capital to finish the job. The monstrosity will house: 165,000 sq. ft. indoor skiing and snowboarding facility, an 18-screen movie theater; fashion retailers such as H&M, Guess and Zara; and Cabela's, an upmarket fishing, hunting, outdoor apparel and equipment outlet. Adrenalia, an extreme-sports store, is slated to have an indoor wave pool, and the mall includes a skydiving simulator. Xanadu will also offer rides on a 286-ft. Ferris wheel that is sponsored by Pepsi. Is this excess just obnoxious amidst this economic downturn?
Larry Siegel, president of Xanadu doesn’t think so, “It’s not like people aren’t looking to recreate. They are.” However, with consumer spending dramatically reduced, and the American mall on life support, the International Council of Shopping Centers predicts that “73,000 stores will close their doors in the first half of 2009.” Retail expert Burt Flickinger III, managing director of Strategic Resources Group, projects that as many as “3,000 shopping centers nationwide could go under this year.” So just who will visit this un-aesthetic (it's surrounded by weedy wetlands, decrepit factories, shipping containers and railroads) fun-palace in East Rutherford, NJ?
“People that may not be able to rent that house at the shore or pay a few hundred bucks for a three-day pass to Disney,” explains Siegel, “but they can come here and spend $100. We’re counting on people like that, people like Ms. Menthol.”
"I think it's great! I don't think that we have enough malls," says Ms. Menthol, "Yous knows, shopping is good. My two little girls can both ski and swim in the same day, and me and Abraham can shop and ride the Ferris Wheel. Plus, it's like a billion acres, so I can find a place to smoke, like, anywheres."
No comments:
Post a Comment